I was perched on my silken stage, a spectrum of red and pink hues cascading around me. My heart raced – an abstract rhythm that synchronized with the expectant hush of the crowd below. I was an aerial dancer, suspended midair, encapsulated in a world where gravity bent to my will. It was an intimate space, up here in the dizzying heights, a world where time slowed, and every sensation was heightened - from the thrilling tingle of anticipation, to the riveting rush of being watched, desired. The very essence of the act, of my dance, was a potent blend of pleasure and teasing – the allure of the unknown, the seduction of the unattainable.
Every show was a fresh tango, a new exploration of my body, and a tantalizing tease for the audience. Embracing my non-binary identity had broadened the spectra of my dance and my life. Although my Korean heritage draped me in centuries of tight-bound traditions and reserved modesty, I was blessed. I had a stage where I could unfurl my soul, drape my expressions in silk, and revel in the stark beauty of desire - raw, poignant, and a testament to my existence.
In the realm of aerial dance, every suspended spiral, every ethereal fall, every seductive twirl was a tangle of teasing fabric, stretching limits and shattering expectations. There was a certain strength in such vulnerability, and immense pleasure derived from it. One of my all-time favorites was a sultry choreography that took teasing to a whole other level. It started with a slow unwinding, a blooming rose wilting in reverse, which progressed into a sly game of hide and seek, a seductive crescendo of revealing yet hiding, letting the audience on the very brink of satiation, but pulling back just in time to leave them yearning for more.
Each performance, I braced my body, pushed it beyond its limits, and worked harmoniously with the silk, creating a symphony of movement and emotion that eclipsed the ordinary. The empowering rush of freedom that surged through me as I performed flirted with the boundaries of pain and pleasure. When I hung in mid-air, the silk embracing every curve and edge of my body, I felt pleasure seep through the discomfort. It was a poetic parable of life - pleasure artfully intertwined with pain, freedom shackled with constraints, strength adorned with vulnerability - a beautiful dance of contrasts. The teasing never ceased, the tantalizing thrill of testing walls, pushing edges, of being equally powerful and exposed, offered a pleasure unparalleled.
When I reemerged from my silken cocoon post-performance, slipping away from the vivid hues into the mundane, I found myself longing for the raw, unadulterated pleasure that the aerial dance gifted me with. The intoxicating teasing, the indulgent play of revelation and concealment, and the heady pleasure that came with it, made me feel alive, loved - and above all, free to be me – a 37-year-old Korean non-binary aerial dancer, dancing not just with silk but also with identities, norms, and expectations. Dancing with life, and teasing it in turn.  |
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